As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve loved getting to know Emily better. Just tonight, I was watching her dance along as we watched Dancing With The Stars and we spent a long time on the floor playing airplane and doing ‘yoga’, and I realized that I often ask her to go play by herself because I have important things to do, and she comes right back to me asking me to play with her or to sit on my lap and ‘help’ me. Why am I fighting the fact that she wants to spend time with me? And more importantly, why am I passing on the message that having fun isn’t appropriate all the time, when I hated hearing that myself growing up?
But I digress. Back to that terrible twos part! Maybe the reason she sometimes screams and throws things around when she’s mad isn’t just because she’s ‘that age’, but more because although she has a lot of words now, she still can’t completely express her needs when she’s getting frustrated? Wouldn’t it be neat if in the mean time I had a way to understand the reasoning behind the way she wants to play, or potty train (or not!), and why she seems to HATE the grocery store, so I can maybe know what the answer to her problem is, even if she doesn’t?
This book is totally it guys. My life has gotten 10 times easier since I’ve acknowledged the fact that she just wants to be happy and having fun all the time. Most of the time I’m making an extra effort to make even the mundane parts of our day fun, and the rest of the time I’m extending her a little extra patience when I know she’s frustrated that what we’re doing isn’t fun enough (or we’ve been doing it too long and it’s gotten boring – I TOTALLY get it!).
We do a dance when she needs to pee, and another one after she’s been successful (and often, we’re dancing even if she hasn’t!). We make up games to get in more bites of dinner, we cover everything in glittery stickers, and start up crafts randomly in the middle of the afternoon.
And life is better, even with a little more mess!
So that’s been our so-far cure for our little Type 1 jumping bean, but what about some of the other Types?
Type 2’s just seem to need comfort, so maybe you’ve been pushing them too much to be more outgoing, or you’re saying ‘Come on! This is so fun!’ when they really need you to be saying ‘I just want you to be comfortable, is there anything I can do to make you feel safer?’.
Type 3’s? I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago about when little kids start being bossy and pushing or telling other kids what to do. Obviously hitting and pushing isn’t ok, but more often than not, parents probably try and discipline the bossiness right out of their kids, instead of seeing it for what it truly is. Maybe your child has a natural gift for leading people and working in groups, and they need your help in positively developing it instead of wounding them by telling them it’s not OK!
Here’s the links to the videos again, which have a bit more description of each of the Types!
So what type do you think your kids are? Make sure you get a copy of the book so you can find out everything there is to know about them!